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I’ve Created a Monster
Remember when I said I wanted to make a stuffed horse? Remember how I made the Dammit Dolls instead, and decided it was a good thing I hadn’t done the stuffed horse because it would have been a disaster?
Well. I made a… disaster. Heh.
My first mistake was disregarding my own advice (to stay away from the stuffed horse idea).
My second mistake was deciding, at 3 a.m., that I could do a stuffed horse after all. At 3 a.m., my house mate would not be amused if I turned on the sewing machine… so that meant to do the stuffed horse, I’d have to hand sew it. That’s not a good idea, ever.
My third mistake was in improvising my own pattern. Including drawing the horse. An artist I am not.
My fourth mistake was in continuing to make the thing, even though the stitching was coming apart while I was still putting it together. Oy. How many hints to cease and desist does one person need?
So here it is, in all its glory horrificness:
I think it looks a bit like an anteater crossed with the Loch Ness Monster, don’t you? Or else it just really, really needs a stall break and a few minutes privacy.
Even though I’m laughing–this is truely awful, you know–I think the idea is sound:
If I can fix the anteater head, machine sew it so the stuffing isn’t leaking all over, and stuff it firmly enough that the legs will stay straight… it might actually look like a normal horse.
Meanwhile, the cats get this one. They’ll disembowel it and put it out of its misery, which is the kindest thing, really.
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Comments
Oh, it gets better!
I tossed the horse (Nessie?) on the floor to see what the cats would do. Seb body slammed it, so I took that to mean it was a perfectly acceptable toy. Left the room. Saw Jasper go running in. Heard some noise.
Went to check on them. Jasper and Seb were sitting nochalantly in the middle of the room, and Nessie… is gone. Poof. Disappeared. Not even a trace of stuffing to say what happened.
Keep in mind these cats once flattened a Coke box and shoved it under the oven. And Jasper steals plastic spoons at parties—we don’t know where he hides them, but once or twice a week he brings one out and smacks it against the chair legs (he likes the noise it makes, I think). In other words: these cats could teach the mob something about hiding bodies.
I don’t think we’ll be seeing Nessie again any time soon.
Now that I am laughing so hard, I may not be able to sleep. By the way, you have an assignment from me. You can see it at my 5 things you don’t know about me posting.
You know, Eric has me thinking. I’m not sure Nessie could jump 4’, even before the cats got ahold of him, but… he is a colored horse.
If I could find him again, do you think that makes him breeding material? Can I charge a higher stud fee if he’s homozygenous for the bandana pattern?
On Jan 8, 2007, Learninghorses (Jerri) said:
I’m crying, this is so funny. I should post a picture of the christmas stocking I made myself a few years back. . .