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Poor, Misdirected Searchers
I’d like to take a post to salute all the poor, misdirected folks who found this blog in 2007 via unlikely keywords.
Like the person who was looking for “stuffed monster pattern.” I am sure this is not what you were looking for.
To the person who wanted to know “what is a wrenched knee,” I hope you didn’t try wrapping your knee with a standing wrap in the hopes that would make it all better. That sort of treatment is reserved for the hypochondriac wannabes—like me—who know they are not nearly as broken as they’d like to pretend they are.
“secret names.” Funny thing, I’ve started dreaming about naming horses again. Except this time it’s ponies. But I won’t tell you any of the names because, guess what? They’re still secret.
“collected halt.” I hate to break it to you, but at the halt there’s nothing to collect. On account of how the horse isn’t moving.
“doofus.” Yes I am, sometimes. I enjoy it. Thanks for stopping by.
“horse blog code” and several related variations. Is that like the DaVinci code? If I write a book about it that has facts as holey as swiss cheese, can I, too, become an author too famous to answer letters or emails from people wanting to know just who translated his Latin, anyway, and has he ever heard of contextual readings? No? Well what good is a horse blog code, then, anyway?
“i don’t sew but want to make a quilt.” I imagine that’s going to be a bit difficult for you.
“how to make a lumpshade with ribbons.” I want to know how the heck “lumpshade” led you to my blog.
“you tube gaited horses.” Shouldn’t you be searching the You Tube site?
“young grasshopper.” The thought that someone was probably trying to find the source of this quote makes me very sad. Isn’t this something everyone is supposed to know in their bones? Next they are going to want an explanation for where “Wax on. Wax off.” came from, and that will be tragic.
“looking for rider to sponsor.” What?! Wait! Come back! Sponsor me!
But probably the scariest thing was the number of “teach a horse to piaffe” type searches that end up here. People, please stop trying to teach yourself upper-level dressage from the internet. Find a trainer who has experience at these things and learn from them. You’re scaring me.
(But not as much as the “x”-related searches I get. Good grief. It’s a good thing I’m over 21; you’d have to be, to read my stats some days. There are sick, sick people out there.)
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Comments
Great blog! What a hoot.
Lumpshade? Collected halt? The most worrisome is you tube gaited horses in case they are wanting to torture them somehow with tubes in their pursuit of greater knee action or something.
Very funny. Hope your sponsor comes back!
I had one searching for “gay breeches riders pics” Don’t want to even think about that.
Hi,
How do you get these stats, anyway???
On Jan 11, 2008, Jackie said:
Ha! Thanks for sharing those goofy stats for our reading enjoyment. I think my favorite is “stuffed monster pattern.” So random (unless it’s a quilt thing).