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Seven Things
MiKael is apparently exacting revenge on me for never commenting anywhere, and she’s tagged me with that “Seven things you don’t know about me” viral meme. I’m sure I’ve done that one before (and it was only five things, then. It’s gotten worse the longer it goes on…). Tracey at Mustang Diaries offered an alternative (“Seven things you’d like to accomplish in 2008”) but I already posted my New Year’s resolutions. All, um, three of them.
So I’m going to do “Seven Things I’ve Learned Around Horses.” I’m such a rebel.
- If you are running unusually late for a lesson and have convinced yourself it’ll be ok because for the past two months you’ve been riding the uber-clean chestnut mare who can be saddled up in five minutes, invariably you will arrive at the barn to find you’ve been assigned the gray horse who practically needs a bath before he can be saddled. Especially if your barn has a rule about spot-free horses in lessons.
- Hoofpicks are free spirits. They cannot be owned. Your brushbox is not their home; it’s merely a temporary stopping place between the tack store and wherever it is hoofpicks are headed in the universe. I’m not sure where that is, but it’s certainly not here (as in: “But I left it right here!” )
- If you are working late at the barn and are totally exhausted and want to get home like nothing else, you will almost certainly come up with a brilliant time-saving plan. Do. Not. Attempt. Whatever. It. Is. You. Are. Thinking. Of. Three hours later, you will be cleaning up the remains of whatever mess you made and you will still have to figure out how to explain to the barn owner that it’s really not your fault the hose is in six pieces and the feed cart lacks a wheel.
- Horses can understand us; they have a sense of humor, too. I can prove it: take the most non-horsey person you know out to the barn and introduce them to your calmest, sweetest horse while saying, “This is Dobbin. You can pet him. He never bites.” Watch what happens.
- No two blankets in the world have the same system for buckling. This is a conspiracy by the manufacturers, who spend thousands of dollars researching the least obvious ways to fasten blankets on horses. They probably have year-end awards for videos of clueless people who couldn’t figure how where to snap what.
- There is an inverse relationship between your savings account and your horse’s health. The more money you have saved up, the more mystifying your horse’s mysterious lameness is.
- Either you are healthy, or your horse is. If you both by some cosmic accident happen to be healthy on the same day, it will rain and the arena and local trails will flood.
(If you thought I was going to end on a feel-good, “awwww” moment, you obviously haven’t been reading this blog enough.)
Now the dilemna: do I or do I not pass this on to anyone else? Silly question. Of course I do.
Y’all are it. Seven Things. Whatever Seven Things you like.
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Comments
I think I just feel guilty for not commenting anywhere. Heh.
I did try to comment on your site, but Blogger turned me into “Anonymous.” I know I’m paranoid sometimes, but I’m not that paranoid!
Oh oh. In catching up I’ve noticed that you’ve tagged me. I guess I better get busy.
Re: #1: When I’m running really late is the one day a year all the horses will be out in the field. Ah, hiking through the dark toward the herd, which is 99% chestnut geldings, to extract your intended chestnut gelding…
There was a post in the summer about a book involving a girl who’d had polio and got a horse… I think it may be “Tall and Proud” by Vian Smith.
On Feb 3, 2008, risingrainbow said:
Was it revenge? I just thought I was sharing the wealth…..uh, virus. I was trying to find people who hadn’t been tagged. It was five things before though and I think you were the first one to ever tag me so maybe revenge is good. I like how you changed it and made it your own and I so agree about those blanket buckles. What were they thinking?