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Sponsor a Dressage Rider
Millions of horseless riders suffer every day because they don’t have access to imported warmbloods, brand-name show clothes, and blinged tack. But you can make a difference in the life of one unfortunate barn rat and through your generous sponsorship give her a chance to live the sort of life T.V. commercials say she’s entitled to have.
A Rider In Need
Halt Near X is a twenty-something woman living in the Frigid Northlands. Her day job gives her total flexibility over her hours, vacations, and time off–but it doesn’t provide enough money to buy an expensive imported sport horse or diamond-blinged spurs. She needs your assistance if she’s ever to become a true Dressage Queen.
How Your Donation Will Help Her
For a mere $1,000 a month, your sponsorship will set Halt Near X on the path to eventual DQ-dom, by providing for her most basic Queen Needs. These include:
A Suitable Mount
We know that while our sponsors are generous, they cannot generally afford to buy imported sporthorses for our underpriviledged riders. However, your sponsorship will help pair your sponsored rider with a safe, suitable mount–which comes complete with a complimentary blinged browband from the breeder!
Boarding
Safe, suitable boarding with plenty of turnout is of course essential to any horse’s well-being, and your sponsorship will help assure the continued health of the rider’s new mount by paying for a large stall at a top-notch facility.
Classical Training
Training is, of course, one of the most important (and time- and money-consuming) factors in becoming a DQ. Your monthly sponsorship will allow your rider to participate in an intensive training course. She will learn the art of distinguishing good champagne from cheap bubbly, the proper times of day to imbimbe various drinks, how to hold her horse’s reins, her appetizer, and her drink while wearing white gloves and not spilling anything, when to wear gold vs. silver jewelry, how much jewelry is appropriate for the show ring, how to tastefully bling tack, the proper angle at which she should hold her head when looking down at riders not fortunate enough to have their own sponsor, and much, much more!
What You Will Receive In Turn
Virtue is, of course, its own reward, but you will also get the honor of naming your rider’s new mount, selecting the paint color of the mount’s stall, and–if you upgrade to a Premium Sponsorship–of going on elite cruises with your sponsored rider to see for yourself how far along her DQ training is progressing.
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Comments
To start, I think a three-hundred word essay on what makes you a good candidate for sponsorship, pictures of the horse you want (I hear carosel horses are hot this year, but you should never underestimate a good rocking horse—very rythmical, they are), the facilities where you’d keep it.
Then it all goes in a post and… who knows. Do you think we could get a sponsor just for being clever?
On Jan 3, 2007, Learning Horses (Jerri) said:
so funny. I would also like a sponsor, how do I best express my need to you?