Danger Zone

9 April 2011 4 Comments

Let’s imagine I just wrote a post with so much whine in it that the international cheese market jumped in anticipation of the inevitable huge demand.

It was extravagant. The royal wedding can’t even begin to compare to the pity party thrown by my whine.

We are talking an epic that would have brought Homer to his knees in awe, if he could have seen it.

It was, in short, a whine that has reduced me to punning about Homer.

The problem is that I am so mentally and physically at the end of my rope, I can’t see how to fix it. And “it” has more facets to it than the Hope Diamond.

So I’m begging you: fix my life.

Just pick a problem—I’m probably dealing with it—and tell me how to fix it.

Because if you don’t, there are worse things in store than punning about Homer.

I’ll start translating Catullus again. The last time I did that, I ended up with a poem called “Look at Leslie’s Ruddy Rooster.” It wasn’t really about a rooster, if you know what I mean. I am nearly reduced to that again.

Help. Me.

Inane and Mundane

Comments

There are 4 comments for this entry. Add yours.

Barbara says 9 April 2011

??

Sarah says 10 April 2011

Hey now, I’m the one who is baffled and confused.

You are supposed to be providing answers.

I’m not particular about what the questions are—I’d be happy with any answers at the moment.

Breathe says 10 April 2011

Problem 1: distance yourself emotionally. Pull back so far that you can see the problem clinically, not personally. Figure out where you can best bury the bodies.  Remember if you dig deep enough, they will stay there.

Problem 2: play it out in your mind. Let your emotion consume you in your mind and see where the worse case scenario could lead. Realize that, as hard as that will be, you will still be here and you darn well will get thru. Embrace your problem like an python and squeeze it so hard that if suffocates. Unhing your jaw and swallow it whole, let the stomach acids do their work.

Problem 3: watch only comedies. Only things that make you laugh.  Cuz pity parties are hard to maintain in laughter and laughing points out the absurdity of that much whine.

We are in rough sees too.  Hang in there

We are in rough

Sarah says 11 April 2011

Bury the bodies… bury the bodies… must go find a spade…

Excellent advice all around!

Now to go watch some M*A*S*H while the stomach acids do their thing…

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