Favor your worthy hands with the universe
A spam email just advised me to “favor your worthy hands with the universe.” I didn’t read the actual email, because I’m sure it’s advertising Viagra. Of all the images that come to mind when I think of how I might favor my (most worthy, indeed) hands with the universe, things associated with Viagra just aren’t on the top of my list. My universe is a little, ah, larger than that. No matter how large “it” is.
But I’m intrigued. How does one go about favoring their hands with the universe, if we accept that there are bigger things out there than… ah… “that.” Is this a Men in Black moment, staring into a cat collar doo-dad and watching it turn into rotating universes and then aliens playing marbles? Isn’t there an obvious flaw to that image: if aliens were going to play games with Universe Balls, wouldn’t they play pool or golf?
Wouldn’t it be more fun, anyway, to imagine the universes as bath beads? You could run your fingers through and through the beads, squishing them a little bit. Plus, when you were done, your hands would smell good. And if that wasn’t enough for you, you could actually take a bath and slather yourself in foamy universes. Now that’s what I call luxury!
What do you suppose the scent of a universe actually is? And if I figure it out, bottle it, and market it, will I become a millionaire so I can favor my most worthy hands with wads of cash?