Show Nerves Poster Child
We went to a schooling show this weekend—low key, no pressure, no worries. Right?
Yeah, right.
This is me we’re talking about.
Warmup? Fabulous. We’re riding on clouds. We head out to the show ring when I’m two horses out. I watch the current horse in the ring, mumble an excuse, and retreat back to warmup.
Ah. My brain. I knew I left it somewhere. I put it back in, and suddenly I can remember how to breathe again. Ok. No worries.
Back out to the ring we go, as the competitor before me starts their test. I stare fixedly into the distance. A friend comes over to distract me. Apparently, I look a little tense. That’s a nice way of saying I look like someone has just delivered a note that says North Korea is training missiles on my home, and would I like to prepare a suitable response? It may just be a Training level test to you, but it’s a war zone to me.
In reality, I’m trying to remember if breathing is one of those autonomous body functions and, if so, why I appear to have stopped. The other rider finishes her test, and I wander to A. The photographer starts talking to me. I suspect this was an act of kindness on her part: make the rider talk, before she faints from lack of oxygen.
The ride was not fantastic. The score was not fantastic. I got a blue ribbon, but that’s what happens when you’re the only one in the class.
However—I remembered the test. I almost went off course once, but caught myself in time. There were moments when I was able to bring myself together and ride a bit, instead of steering the horse with the reins and hoping we made it from letter to letter.
And that, frankly, I count as a huge success.
I knew and expected that show nerves would kill me, so even moments of regrouping is a positive sign. All I wanted from the show was a low key non disaster, and I got that. I mean: the ride itself was kind of a disaster, but I only left my brain in the warmup ring. I didn’t lose it entirely. I think there’s something to be said for that.
People were commiserating with me about the score, but this weekend was emphatically not about the score. I needed to get back in the show ring, and I needed to know that it was not a big deal. I accomplished that much, and the warmup really was fantastic.
What I need now is more of the same, until I stop worrying about the judge at C and start carrying over the relaxation from the warmup to the show ring. I’m sure that will come with time. And, perhaps, with a properly timed beer before my classes…
Tina says 28 June 2010
I just keep repeating to myself… it’s just another ride! I know one day I will actually believe it…maybe!
Schooling shows are for experience and schooling with some valuable and educated feed back. It’s a time to learn about your horse and yourself and how things go in the ring in front of the judge. It’s why schooling shows exist. They are not the correct place to “Compete”. (LOL- another thing I say to myself).
And just to let everyone know… that was the horses 4th outing, EVER, and he was a saint. And this was the riders 1st outing with this horse. I’d say all and all everything went GREAT!
And the warm up was wonderful.