I never really thought about it, but I have no idea what the “birds and the bees” talk actually is.
The talk I got was… slightly more sophisticated than that. And a lot less metaphorical.
So: those of you who have children or had more metaphorically minded parents, how exactly does the birds and the bees talk go? I mean: why birds? why bees?
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I actually never got “the talk.” And I had older sisters. I guess everyone (meaning my parents?) assumed I learned it at school—which I did, in the seventh grade. A video with rather graphic images for seventh graders. And it had nothing to do with birds and bees….
Hmm. I begin to think there is a “birds and bees” conspiracy. There is NO talk. Just talk of a talk. But no one wants to admit it.
Ah ha! We have discovered the man behind the curtain!
Oh, better—I asked me mum. She says she has no idea either. This goes back farther than I thought.
Well! Chels got the talk in grade school—very very young—she asked where babies come from and got oh so much much more than she bargained for.
The boys? Recently (they are now 8—can you believe it?). While folding clothes, they asked why Chel’s underwear always had, ehem, “poop stains” on it——anyway, I proceed to tell them that Chels was on her “period.” Stains happen. Yadda Yadda—-more talk/explanation—Matthew asks “Do boys get that?”
My reply: “No, boys can’t have babies.”
His response: “Well, that’s one thing, Christian.”
Me? After a couple weeks of joking and mysterious conversations in the 6th grade, I finally pulled my mother aside and asked: “Is this sex? [And rapidly pushed my index finger through a nifty little hole I had made with my other hand].”
“Yes, MMM.” My mother replied with scorn and walked away.
Oh—and birds? Because they mate, build a nest, and live happily ever-after. Conservatives.
Bees? They flit from flower to flower. [Too bad some of them don’t lose their stinger and die the first time they sting . . .]
The twins can’t be eight! Every time you talk about them I picture them like the last time I saw them, when they were… not eight, that’s for sure. (I’d do some math and figure out how old they were, but I’m in some sort of time warp and not admitting anyone I know is getting older. Including me.)
they were like 4 or 5—knee biters really—soon they’ll be 18 . . . .
Another S says 15 February 2007
I have no idea either. And anytime I’ve ever asked anyone, I’ve never gotten a straight answer. Well, not that I was looking for that kind of “straight” answer, I mean “precise.”
All I got was an illustrated christian book. I already knew everything by that time anyway from all the talk on the school bus. Let’s just say the words used were more Anglo-Saxon than Latinate.