Wrenched Knees, Blog Carnivals, and Photo Quilts
I wrenched my knee this week, so I’ve been on Ibuprofen. I know some people swear by Ibuprofen, and I do, too—when no small children are around. I hate it. Hate. It. Unfortunately, this is one of those situations where the pain relief outweighs the side effects.
One casualty of Ibuprofen: I didn’t have it together enough to sign up for this week’s blog carnival. But eighteen other people were far more organized than I am (or, less than eighteen people, but eighteen posts total)—you can read the entries at MiKael’s Mania. Next week’s carnival is being hosted by Patricia at Experiments in Training Equines.
One lesson learned, thanks to this whole situation: standing wraps make great knee wraps. Who needs ace bandages?
As I have nothing new to post about riding (what with how I’m not riding for a week or two), here’s a project I meant to post around Christmas but didn’t:
The wall hanging was, if I remember right, about eighteen inches by three feet. The ornaments are about 2” square. I made these for a Secret Santa gift exchange this year—so the pictures, of course, are of my giftee, not me. And that seriously cool horse is hers, not mine. But I wanted to send something a little more personal than a bag of peppermints, and I’ve had the idea for this sort of photo-wall hanging floating around, so there was my excuse to make it! The ornaments were a side-effect, actually—I had extra transfer paper left over—but after seeing how well they turned out I made some for my up-down lesson students, too.
I’ve Created a Monster
Remember when I said I wanted to make a stuffed horse? Remember how I made the Dammit Dolls instead, and decided it was a good thing I hadn’t done the stuffed horse because it would have been a disaster?
Well. I made a… disaster. Heh.
My first mistake was disregarding my own advice (to stay away from the stuffed horse idea).
My second mistake was deciding, at 3 a.m., that I could do a stuffed horse after all. At 3 a.m., my house mate would not be amused if I turned on the sewing machine… so that meant to do the stuffed horse, I’d have to hand sew it. That’s not a good idea, ever.
My third mistake was in improvising my own pattern. Including drawing the horse. An artist I am not.
My fourth mistake was in continuing to make the thing, even though the stitching was coming apart while I was still putting it together. Oy. How many hints to cease and desist does one person need?
So here it is, in all its glory horrificness:
I think it looks a bit like an anteater crossed with the Loch Ness Monster, don’t you? Or else it just really, really needs a stall break and a few minutes privacy.
Even though I’m laughing–this is truly awful, you know–I think the idea is sound:
If I can fix the anteater head, machine sew it so the stuffing isn’t leaking all over, and stuff it firmly enough that the legs will stay straight… it might actually look like a normal horse.
Meanwhile, the cats get this one. They’ll disembowel it and put it out of its misery, which is the kindest thing, really.
It’s just as well
I couldn’t find the pattern to make a stuffed horse. Well, I did find some online, but I couldn’t be bothered to wait for it to get mailed to me. And the stores in town didn’t have one. Or, WallyWorld didn’t have one. I usually try to avoid WallyWorld, because the people inside it are always obnoxiously rude, but I thought a stuffed animal pattern would be right up its alley. Turns out: no. And I was too irritated by the people in WallyWorld to set foot in another store. So much for finding a horse pattern.
But I did discover Dammit Dolls online. Never heard of a Dammit Doll? I hadn’t either, but a UK website says they are a big deal in the US. Really? Has anyone told the US that? I don’t think we know.
Basically, they’re a stress toy. They come with a corny poem that tells you to hit them against something anytime you get mad. And to yell “Dammit Dammit Dammit.” You can google the poem if you want to; I can’t bear to repeat it. Besides, doesn’t “Dammit Dammit Dammit” strike you as a particularly unimaginative curse? The only thing is has going for it is iambic rhythm, but I’m not sure I’ve ever cursed in a rhythm. Do you think it improves the power of your curse if you do?
Having nothing better to do (or having lots better to do and no desire to do it), I made a Dammit Doll. Sans poem. So I guess I just made a doll I could smack around. Heh. Then I made two more. See:
The one in the middle was the first. It looks ok. I should have stopped there. But then I made the blue one, which had to get half its foot chopped off because one leg was longer than the other. And it’s hunchbacked. And it had more stuffing leaking out of it than my car does oil. I couldn’t figure out why it was such a disaster, so I made a third. The red one. Notice how the head is trying to imitate a hammerhead shark? I don’t know what happened.
I can vouch for the stress-relief quality, though. Both the blue and red ones got smacked against the sewing machine once I got a look at the finished product. I felt a lot better, actually.
I’m still not convinced that swearing in iambs is better than freestyle swearing, though.
It’s just as well I didn’t find a horse pattern. Can you imagine the disaster? I bet it would have had more curves than these things, and I obviously cannot sew curves. The horse would have looked like a broken-legged octopus.
Sew What?
I haven’t posted in a while because nothing new is going on. It’s cold, but that’s normal. Well, twenty-below with the wind chill isn’t normal, but we’re creeping back up into the teens, so I can’t complain much anymore. At least my gloves aren’t freezing to the wheelbarrow handle this week.
I’ve been spending a lot of time inside, which means I’ve been looking for ways to distract myself. I’m thinking I should sew more.
I just can’t decide what.
I think I might make a cooler. Not that I’d be saving money by doing so, but it would keep me occupied for a bit. I think I’d want to line it in nylon or some other static-resistant material. And I’d like to make it fitted, because I’ve made square coolers before.
Or I could make a baby pad or two, but that’s also not cost effective. For some reason, the cost-effectiveness bothers me more with the baby pads than it does with the cooler.
I’d like to make a stuffed horse, actually. Hmm. Guess that means I need to go buy a pattern.
Why do I always get these ideas after the stores close?
I need some crafty help
Every once in a while, I get the urge to be crafty. Unfortunately, while I have good ideas sometimes, the execution can be… lacking.
We have a barn show coming up. Which includes a costume class. Which would be a lot of fun, despite the fact that I am twenty-something and not, oh, six. I don’t want to be judged–all the kiddies can have the ribbons–I just want to dress up.
I have a pseudo-highwaywoman costume already. Mostly, it’s a very cool cloak and a toy sword. I find those are sufficient–everyone is so impressed by the cloak and sword they don’t even ask why I’m wearing sneakers and jeans. I could dress up in that, but… meh. I’ve done that several years running and I’m tired of it.
So I thought I’d pull the old horse collar out of the garage. It’d be hilarious to dress myself up as the horse and the horse as the farmer.
Well, “hilarious.” I’d laugh, anyway.
I think my half of the costume would be easy enough–a horse-head hat, a tail, some solid-colored clothes, the horse collar. It shouldn’t be too hard to fix a straw hat on the horse’s halter. The only thing I haven’t figured out is how to make it look like the horse is wearing overalls and/or a plaid shirt.
My first thought was to make some sort of thing that would go over the head/sit around the withers/neck with two long bits to go down the legs. I thought about loosely tying them around the legs to make them look more like pants, but after thinking about the horses I’m likely to be dressing up… bad idea. They’d be less than amused.
So if you have any ideas (or even pictures of others who have done this), let me know.
How do you dress a horse up as a person?