Obligatory Cat Poem
She’s on my bed when I wake up,
exactly in the middle.
She’s made it clear that I can share—
but only as her pillow.
I go to work; the worthless lout
basks in the sun all day.
I come home, she’s off the couch:
Starving! Feed me! Hey!
I tell her what my boss has done,
and how he’s such a prick.
She blinks and yawns and waits to see
if I brought home catnip.
I make my dinner, she coughs up
a hairball for dessert.
I clean it up, she wanders off
and eats my plants, the twerp.
I take a book to bed to read;
she snuggles right up close.
She purrs, and sure, I forgive her—
until she licks my toes.